Past-time

"Your past forms you, whether you like it or not. Each encounter,each experience has its own effects."
-dunno who said it

They say elephants never forget, neither do I. Okay, okay you can stop deriving the inference that I'm an elephant. I'm not. Actually I ve got a decent memory, but the funny characteristic of my hard drive is that it retains a lotta insignificant stuff and its these little things that I fail to forget.

And amongst these insignificant stuff are these nice little insiginificant stuff viz. faces of old friends n crushes and their phone numbers, some really old funny incident, a nice book that I'd read or a cheap limerick that I picked up in school.. There are those embarassing situations that you somehow get entangled into, which might include getting dressed as a village girl for a school dance jus because you were the shortest boy in your class.. and not for the fact that u looked pretty ... Then pensively, you recount those incidents when you felt that ur life didnt have direction/meaning and that u need to find a purpose to your life... This thought keeps popping up due to popular demand and it has recurred so many times that nowadays I jus by pass it..

You recall the times u felt you could never forgive God, like when He allows you to get beaten in a game of tennis by a kid half your age..(I'm not saying this particular incident happened to me) ...FYI, I'm a fairly good tennis player... Then there are those incidents that leave you basking in glory, like when u win the intra section quiz competition while studying in III "B"..

So, every now and then I like to rewind and re live such moments, and it never fails to bring a smile to my face... Jus reel backwards and shmmmiillle away ...

FEAR..

"The very thing that crushes, an otherwise hopeful heart, stunts ideas and dreams which might eventually have leapfrogged into reality,which slowly encroaches into every decision that we make......"

Somehow i feel that our formidable adversary (as most of us might have perceived it to be) shouldn't be reckoned or deemed as a foe per se... To me fear (hereupon called as 'F') in reasonable proportions is a necessity,it prevents us from being reckless ...F is something thats been instilled in us (like how a ringmaster does) or brewed through years of shortcomings that we might have experienced...Guess thats the reason why your parents are cautious and your granny even more so...

To the intrepid mountaineer who scaled Mt.Everest and more importantly got back safely :-) ,the concept of fear might seem laughable...Its not so much that the F factor has been suppressed in his system, rather its his innate ability to reason out his fears....

In the anniversary issue of Fortune which listed out advices given from great business gurus,I noticed confident faces with charming smiles, professing in them an air of composure...It seems as though F is non existent in them,but i bet that these people were constantly afraid,probably paranoid, that things might not fall into place...With due credit to their sharp intellect and tremendous business acumen,a greater fraction of their decisions must have relied on addressing their primal instinct- fear... Their trepidations must have helped them anticipate problems...

The way i see it, Fear is a time-tested animal instinct that prompts us of impending pitfalls, inhibits us from proceeding because of the damaging consequences that might befall us and makes us anxious in an uncertain situation...U might say that it does more harm than good,(in some cases),but it isnt all bad...I m just trying to look at the sunny side of things....

(Btw,throughout this post my notion on fear is akin to 'being fearful' and not something irrational like phobias...)

Fear,like so many other emotions viz. pain,love,happiness are pretty hard to comprehend, solely because they are not quantifiable, and even harder to express in words... This is my take on "fear"...

Lemme know what u think....C ya...